I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
