my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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