This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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