New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
