If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
