butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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