That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
