A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
