I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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