What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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