He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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