i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
