Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
