actually, I'm a sock model
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
