my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Terrible idea I love it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
