if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
