Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
