you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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