Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
