He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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