Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
