Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
