I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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