she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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