I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
