I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
