He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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