i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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