What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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