Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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