My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
