Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
