I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
