Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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