That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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