i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
