come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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