he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
