she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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