She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
