He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My dick has a subreddit
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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