some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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