Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize