no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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