great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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