I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
