I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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