I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
