whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
