My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
