ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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