fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
4 words: hood of his car
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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