You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
