Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
