I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
