Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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