One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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